I attended a “Walk to Remember” remembrance walk and ceremony in Clearwater with some of my BabyCenter GBJ girls, their husbands, and their rainbow babies. Part of it included putting flowers on and around a memorial tree, planted in the park for babies who have died and their families.
The three flowers toward the top are for my three babies in heaven.
After we placed the flowers, we were given big cupcakes and sang Happy Birthday to our babies. It was difficult, but good, needed. I’m so glad to have been able to share in this and to honor Calvin, Rainbow, and Gaelen.
This post is part of the NaBloPoMo daily blogging challenge. The theme for this month is “Between,” which goes perfectly with how I’ve been feeling and where I find myself: between hope and despair, between love and fear, between trying to conceive and holding a living child in my arms.
We saw our little Bumble Bee on the ultrasound—well, his or her gestational sac and yolk sac (the little “cheerio” in the black sac in the image on the left) in the gestational sac, in my uterus. I heard Louie let out a huge sigh. The nurse practitioner said that it looked good for this early in pregnancy and with my numbers, things appear to be going well. I was given a pregnancy packet (I haven’t received one of these since being pregnant with Calvin) and told that my due date is June 5.
Our current home is between the hospital where I found out Calvin was no longer alive and delivered his still body from mine and the columbarium where his ashes will be inurned in a niche that is for him and his sisters and, eventually, us.
So that’s why we are in Florida today: I’m finally meeting a few of these amazing ladies face-to-face, along with their hubbies and rainbow babies. One of these girls, I’ve know for over two years. The other three, I’ve known for almost a year and a half. And on Saturday, we will be walking together in memory of the little ones we lost at the hospital where one of them delivered and lost her twin boys. I’m sure it will be both heartbreaking and beautiful. I’m so honored to have the friendship of these women, as well as that of the wonderful people who’ve been with us throughout this journey.
