For the man
who’s given himself
to provide life to another
and placed his joy
in the hearts of his children –
those which beat on this earth,
those whose measure
are yet to be,
and those that have silently
passed to be carried
in the rhythm of our own.
I’m pleased to announce that, after my super high-tech random drawing (aka writing names on pieces of paper, folding them up, shaking them up, and picking one ^_~), the winner of the Something Happened book giveaway is Melanie!
Congratulations, sweetie, I’m sure that giving this book to your hospital or midwives’ clinic will be of help to the families that borrow it from their library. You have a a great heart. Melanie, please email me your address at crystal@blessedtobebroken.com so I can send you the book.
I first learned of this movement in the Babyloss Community from Maggie, Alexandra’s mommy. The idea is that if enough of us request that Oprah does a segment on baby loss, maybe it will actually happen and air during her last season. I’m hoping that if we push for a specific day – Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, which is on October 15 – it would give them more of a reason to produce it.
So I am passing on this request to everyone reading this, to babyloss families and non-babyloss families alike. There are several reasons why I would love to see this on the Oprah show:
.
Please, just take a few minutes to submit your story request to Oprah and share your experience with babyloss, whether personally or through someone you know. It would mean so much. I’ve copied what I submitted below; you don’t have to write as much as I did at all. And if you are so moved (and I hope you are) please pass this on for others to share, as well.
Thank you so much!
I call myself a mommy to two babies in heaven, but to many, I’m not a mother because I haven’t given birth to a living child. I carried my son, Calvin Phoenix, for 4 1/2 months, delivered him silent and still into this world, and held his tiny body in my arms. But because my baby died, I am marginalized. Women who are pregnant are called “moms-to-be.” After giving birth, they are congratulated on “becoming a mom.” What does that make me? A mom-that-was-supposed-to-be? A mom-that-almost-was?
Although stillbirth rates have gone down and viability is coming earlier in pregnancy, there are still many families affected by pregnancy and infant loss. And it’s not openly talked about or acknowledged. Instead, the grief is often met with platitudes and the quick fix to “have another one.” After losing Calvin, my husband and I felt alone, isolated, and misunderstood. In hindsight, I know that people’s lack of support, missteps in trying to comfort, and unrealistic expectations stem from a lack of knowledge and fear.
Oprah could shed light on and spread awareness of the tremendous impact of pregnancy and infant loss, as well also offer much needed support to “babyloss” parents by letting them know they aren’t alone and sharing services that are available. It wasn’t until after I lost my son and joined the BabyCenter Community loss boards and the many babyloss bloggers and that I began to find the support I needed. I’d never heard of Lynnette Kraft, Angie Smith, or Carly Marie Dudley, who have walked the child loss journey with inspiring grace and honesty. I didn’t know organizations, such as String of Pearls, Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, and Sufficient Grace Ministries existed. There are so many things I wish I had known before; I would have made different decisions regarding Calvin’s birth.
By airing this story on Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, October 15, Oprah could both support many hurting families and educate others on how to help them heal.
(Dedicated to my fellow babyloss mommies)
By Jody Seilheimer
Dear Mr. Hallmark,
I am writing to you from heaven,and though it must appear
A rather strange idea, I see everything from here.
I just popped in to visit, your stores to find a card
A card of love for my mother, as this day for her is hard.
There must be some mistake I thought,I saw every card you could imagine
Except I could not find a card, from a child who lives in heaven.
She is still a mother too, no matter where I reside
I had to leave, she understands, but oh the tears she’s cried.
I thought that if I wrote you, that you would come to know
That though I live in heaven now, I still love my mother so.
She talks with me, and dreams with me; we still share laughter too,
Memories are our way of speaking now, would you see what you could do?
My mother carries me in her heart, her tears she hides from sight.
She writes poems to honor me, sometimes far into the night
She plants flowers in my garden, there my living memory dwells
She writes to other grieving parents, trying to ease their pain as well.
So you see Mr.Hallmark, though I no longer live on earth
I must find a way to remind her of her wondrous worth.
She needs to be honored, and remembered too
Just as the children of earth will do.
Thank you Mr.Hallmark, I know you’ll do your best
I have done all I can do; to you I’ll leave the rest.
Find a way to tell her, how much she means to me
Until I can do it for myself, when she joins me in eternity.
Today is a special day, not only for my Calvin Phoenix, but also for Jenna Belle, Franchesca’s sweet little girl. As Calvin is celebrating 14 months in heaven, Jenna is celebrating her 1st birthday there, too — so happy heavenly birthday baby girl! We hope you like your cupcake and enjoyed your birthday with my Calvin and Rainbow.
Since becoming a part of the babyloss community, I have come to know such amazing people: Parents who are surviving their losses and enduring their grief and the beautiful babies they have carried. These mothers and fathers are such inspirations to me, because their strength does not lie in “getting over it,” but in admitting their moments of weakness, of sharing their heartache, and their desire to look towards joy and hope.
It’s been a while since my first giveaway, so for this month’s The 5th Belongs to Calvin, I would like to have my second giveaway, in honor of my sweet boy, who has stretched my heart and introduced me to a such a special, supportive community.
Watch to video to see the book and find out how to enter. It is my first attempt at vlogging (sort of, since this also has words along with it), so please excuse the weird cracklings, the novice editing, and my voice (is that my voice? is that my voice?).
The winner will be randomly chosen at the end of the month.
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