Category Archives: Louie

Apparently mommyhood has made me the wasp-chasing type

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At breakfast this morning, Louie asked, “Do we have a fly? How did it get in here?”

I responded, “Yeah, I think it’s behind the blinds.”

By the sound of its banging against the blinds and window and the loud buzzing, I was sure it was one of those huge, nasty, can see its sucky-mouth-thing kind of flies.

Louie went over to open the blinds. “It’s a huge wasp!” I looked over and saw it angrily flying into the window over and over.

I jumped up and ran towards Charlie’s toy bucket, while Louie ran towards Charlie. “Protect Charlie!” I yelled, as I crossed over the play yard gate. I grabbed a plastic tub and lid and headed towards the wasp. It flew away from the window, so I started swinging the tub through the air butterfly-catcher-style. The part of me that was still rational thought that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to go after the wasp, but that was drowned out by the more urgent thought that persisted, “Keep it away from Charlie! Don’t let it sting Charlie!”

Being more reasonable, Louie instructed me to open a window and just trap it between the glass and screen. But the wasp flew against the glass, I placed the tub over the wasp.

The adrenaline wore off, and I became squeamish again, trying to figure out a way to keep the wasp in the tub and not risk escape as I put the lid on. Finally, Louie and I settled on foil because it was thin but less flimsy than paper, and we could fold it over the edges of the tub’s opening. We worked together to ease the wasp and tub over. We creased and pressed the foil around the mouth of the tub, then I pressed the lid shut over the foil.

“Look Charlie, a wasp.” He laughed. Then when I started to walk away, he started crying. So I showed him the wasp again. “See the wasp?”


via Instagram
(Photo cross-posted on Instagram)

We discussed options. I wanted to let it go. Louie told me not to get stung. I went downstairs, held the door open, and opened the lit partway. Nothing. The wasp had settled at the bottom of the tub. I pushed the tub up and out into the air (you know, the way people let birds go free?). Still nothing. I contemplated just setting the container down without a lid and running inside. But I didn’t want to litter.

Finally, after waiting for pedestrians to move past (including a little girl on a balance bike who started up at me as she walk/rode past), I made my way to a nearby bush, removed the lid, put the tub over one of the branches, watched the wasp climb on the branch, pulled the tub away, then ran back towards my apartment building as my pants started to fall off. I think I partially mooned whoever was out there. (Note to self: wear better fitting pants when planning to run away from potentially angry wasps.)

<3, Crystal Theresa

Hire my husby

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Charlie basketball hat
Dear friends: If you have any leads for an illustrator, graphic artist, 2D animator, or similar position, I have an awesome candidate who also happens to be the co-creator of this amazing ball of sweetness. (Posted via Instagram)

<3, Crystal Theresa

A babywearing Daddy

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Louie wearing CharlieSo much to love about this image. (Posted via Instagram)

<3, Crystal Theresa

The 5th Belongs to Calvin: Rainbow in the city

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As the 5th approached, I started wondering what I could write about. I’m still hesitant to write about Charlie much, maybe because I think of this as a space for remembering my other babies, maybe partly because being a part of the baby loss community, I feel guilty sharing about my earth baby. I don’t know. I haven’t really though much about the reasoning… just that I’ve felt uneasy. Maybe part of it is that I’m still in disbelief that we finally have a living child in our arms, and “indulging” in it too much will jinx it. I don’t know.

Yesterday, Louie and I decided to take Charlie for an evening walk for the first time. Usually, his stroller rides are in the afternoon. During our walk, we saw something really beautiful, and I knew what to share for this month’s The 5th Belongs to Calvin. This isn’t a great photo—It’s basically a poor reflection of what we actually saw—but it was an amazing rainbow.

Rainbow in our neighborhood

It felt so close and was so vibrant. (It was so impressive that Facebook was filled with pictures of it, and it was even mentioned on the local news.) As we were walking, I noticed other people on the street staring at it, watching the clouds roll across the rainbow as if it was playing peekaboo with us. I wish my phone could have captured it better. Seeing that rainbow made my heart swell and my eyes tear. Someone we passed said, “I haven’t seen a rainbow like that in a really long time.” In the 12 years I’ve been in San Francisco, I have never seen a rainbow here.

That rainbow in particular reminds me of all of my children: of Calvin, of course because this was his day and because I associate him with cloud-play; of Rainbow for obvious reasons: our first rainbow baby after the storm; of Gaelen because she was our second rainbow and our hope baby after over a year of trying; and of Charlie, who is our rainbow baby on earth. Looking at that rainbow through the dense San Francisco clouds, it felt as if my babies in heaven were telling me that it was okay to more fully celebrate and share the joy (and struggles) of having their baby brother here with me. So I plan to do just that, beginning with sharing this, which I’ve been to post for the past two months:

Charlie Bastian Zapanta Ejanda (06.11.2012, 7lbs 9oz, 19.5in)

PS I know this post is going up late, but I’m learning to be more forgiving of myself. I know my babies know I love them, and I’m sure Calvin understands that I’ve been needing to take care of Charlie who hasn’t been feeling well the past few days.


Dear Calvin, What an amazing gift it was to see that spectacular rainbow on your special day: 3 1/2 years in heaven. I still long to have you and and your sisters here with me and your daddy and now with your littlest sibling, but I’m so happy to have pieces of you in my arms when I hold him. We love you all so much.

<3, Crystal Theresa

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