Category Archives: We Remember

More of Calvie’s cloud drawings

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In last September’s The 5th Belongs to Calvin post, I showed Calvin’s name spelled in the clouds. This is the follow-up to that post… almost a year later. Yes, it had been sitting as a draft for almost that long. And, yes, I know I can be slow sometimes. But on this sleepless night, I’m finally sharing :) .

You can see the letters of Calvin’s name in this photo, too, but what’s particularly special about this one is that there are other images that revealed themselves in these clouds as Louie and I outlined their shapes.


What we found include angels, a cross, a phoenix, a mother holding her baby, and babies—lots of babies, and even a couple of babies whose faces I recognized. I know this seems kind of strange, but is it any “stranger” than seeing C-A-L-V-I-N in the sky? Some of the images aren’t as clear in this smaller version of the photo, and maybe it’s just me seeing what I want to see, pulling extra meaning out of what should be “meaningless.” But if it gives me hope and reassurance (and isn’t hurting anyone), let me continue to see my son—and his heavenly friends—in the clouds.

<3, Crystal Theresa

New feature over at DBC

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I have a new post at The Dead Baby Club about this month’s featured blogger: a mommy who chose to carry her baby to term after a fatal diagnosis. Please stop by to learn about Myah and her daughter, Faith and to share your stories or experiences with CTT after a poor prognosis.

<3, Crystal Theresa

Happy Birthday, Mama

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On Saturday, Louie and I went to visit my grandmother at the cemetery. It was her birthday. We brought Calvin. I thought about her rocking him in her arms and singing to him.

Calvin visits Great Grandma

I emptied and rinsed her vases and used a dishwashing brush and Clorox wipes to clean her headstone and remove the dirt and debris. Then I arranged the flowers I picked out for her: red roses (because, when I was in elementary school, she told me they were her favorite) and pink pom daisies and sunflowers because they reminded me of my wedding (I brought her flowers from our reception arrangements the day after we got married). Last, I pulled at some of the weeds and grass that were starting to reach over her headstone. It felt good to be able to do that for her (though I think it was really mostly for me); I wish I did more while she was still alive.

Visiting Mama at All Souls Cemetery

It’s been 7 1/2 years since she died, and I still miss her. I still cry for her. But I’m so happy (and so jealous) she gets to spend her birthday in heaven with three of her great grandbabies.

<3, Crystal Theresa

Happy Fathers Day, Louie

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Sending kisses from heaven, from babies, with love.

And Happy Fathers Day to all the other daddies out there, too: to daddies with children in their arms, to daddies with children in their hearts, and to daddies who are deeply missed.

<3, Crystal Theresa

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