Category Archives: We Remember

One of the most surprising thing that happened after losing Calvin (and each of my babies) was finding friendships in unexpected places. I was amazed and uplifted by receiving compassion, encouragement, and just plain love from people who ranged from former acquaintances to complete strangers.

The BabyCenter Community was where I first discovered the baby loss community and made friendships with mommies who were also struggling with grief and the loss of their babies. My love for Calvin and the emptiness that came with losing him led me to these ladies and we connected as we mourned and fought to remember our children. Two years later and many of these women have become my sisters. They have been there for me through losing Calvin, then Rainbow, then Gaelen, and they are here with me praying, hoping, wishing, and lifting me up. It feels like somehow Calvin must have gotten with their babies in heaven, and they decided, “Our mommies need each other. Let’s get them together.”

So that’s why we are in Florida today: I’m finally meeting a few of these amazing ladies face-to-face, along with their hubbies and rainbow babies. One of these girls, I’ve know for over two years. The other three, I’ve known for almost a year and a half. And on Saturday, we will be walking together in memory of the little ones we lost at the hospital where one of them delivered and lost her twin boys. I’m sure it will be both heartbreaking and beautiful. I’m so honored to have the friendship of these women, as well as that of the wonderful people who’ve been with us throughout this journey.

Dear Calvin, I know you and Rainbow and Gaelen couldn’t stay with mommy and daddy. I know that, but it doesn’t make me miss you any less. So, I’m so grateful for the love that we have from your “aunties” and “uncles” and for the sweetness they have brought to our lives as we wait to be with you again. Happy 31 months in heaven, my darling. Send hugs and kisses to your sisters and your heaven baby friends. I love you.