It’s been a long time since I’ve updated specifically about Bumble Bee, who, as you must have gathered from the title of this post is a boy. We’ve named him Charlie. And there will be ultrasound photos at the end of this post.
When we found out we were having another boy
About a week after I wrote to Calvin about being the furthest along I’d ever been, we had our anatomy scan. It was so amazing to see how much Bumble Bee had grown and to watch him move and stretch and yawn.
This was also when we found out we were having another little boy. It was a bittersweet moment, because I was brought back to the ultrasound with Calvin when we should have found out he was a boy, but instead found out we had lost him. From what other babyloss mommas have said, I expected that being pregnant again would bring up the grief of losing our other babies, and I’ve been navigating that along with the joy, excitement, and fears of carrying another life. That being said, I feel like I need to add: Charlie will not replace Calvin (or Rainbow or Gaelen), nor will he live in Calvin’s (or Rainbow’s or Gaelen’s) shadow. Each of my children have carved their own space in my heart.
We agreed on the name Charlie over lunch at Mel’s Diner after our appointment. I don’t remember what we ate. Or what we were wearing. Just that out of all of the boy names we mentioned, Charlie was the name that felt right.
Bilateral Choroid Plexus Cysts and prayer requests
When we talked to my OB about the ultrasound results, we were told that our baby had bilateral choroid plexus cysts (CPCs). Something new that I’d never heard about; something new to cause fears and worry. The choroid plexus is part of the brain where cerebrospinal fluid is created. The doctor told us that these usually resolve on their own, that he isn’t too worried, and he assured us that there were no other abnormalities. Of course, I had to do my own research. CPCs are fairly common and seen in about 1% of ultrasounds. They can be a soft marker for Trisomy 18 and sometimes Down’s Syndrome, and chances increase when other indicators are present. It started to make more sense to me that they spent a lot more time looking at his brain and his heart, and that they really want to get a picture of him with his hand open.
We have a follow up ultrasound this Thursday, February 16. We could really use your prayers, positive energy, good thoughts, and healthy baby vibes. I also have my prenatal appointment tomorrow (Monday) and will be taking the 1-hour glucose screening for the first time and hoping (a) that I don’t throw it up, and (b) that I pass. If you could include tomorrow’s appointment and test, as well, I would appreciate it.
Ultrasound photo time
And because it’s been a while since I’ve shared ultrasound photos, I wanted to show this collage of ultrasound photos. It doesn’t include the NT Scan printouts we got because they were kind of blurry. I’ll probably do another one that includes it after we get our printout on Thursday (trying to keep positive!).
Growing a little person is such a miracle. I feel so blessed to have carried my three in heaven and to have Charlie with us now. At the same time, I ache for those who also know what it’s like to lose a baby and for those who are trying to bring a baby home.
Dear Calvin,
